


forsaken

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently it can hurt, because Hinata is looking at him, smile bright and eyes brighter, energy radiating from him, “You should join our game, Kageyama! Have you ever played volleyball? It’s really fun! I can teach you.”</p><p>Or, the one where Kageyama and Hinata meet the summer after middle school</p>
            </blockquote>





	forsaken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shou/gifts).



> i have... literally no idea what this is oh my god  
> there's probably some mistakes?? i was not planning on having this done yet but then i decided to rush write the second half bc i wanted to surprise oona with a fic??  
> SPEAKING OF OONA, I LOVE HER DEARLY AND SHE CONTINUES TO BE SUCH A MOTIVATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING (bc like, fanfiction makes her happy and my gay heart just wants her to be happy)  
> (alternatively titled, "the one where kageyama says 'yeah' a lot")

Kageyama doesn’t think about how lonely he is as he walks through the park, watching everyone around him smiling and laughing and _belonging_. He doesn’t think about how much he longs for friendship, longs for some sort of connection that isn’t the thoughts in his mind, because if he’s being honest, he’s getting real fucking sick of those. **  
**

He wishes he would have just spent the day inside like he’d been doing all summer long, and then maybe he could repress whatever pitiful thoughts he was having by losing himself in a book or a movie or a new show, possibly. But his mom was starting to look at him a certain way, worry filling her eyes, and Kageyama just couldn’t take it anymore. It was bad enough that he felt sorry for himself, he didn’t need his mother feeling sorry for him, too.

So he’d decided that a walk in the park wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and if it got his mom to worry less, then surely he could put up with a few hours of roaming around, alone. Even though he’d told her he was meeting a friend. He felt a little bad, lying to her, but she’d smiled so bright, so much happier than she had been lately, and he just couldn’t bring himself to regret it. She didn’t need to know that Kageyama didn’t have any friends.

It’s a pretty shitty thought, and Kageyama’s about to dwell on the shittiness of it when something catches his eye, or rather, someone. He watches, stunned to a stop as this kid with a mess of orange hair jumps into the air, arm smacking down against a volleyball. Within seconds he’s back on the ground, jumping around and high fiving his teammates and all around looking like the happiest person in the world.

Kageyama wonders what it would be like to feel that way. He wonders what it would be like to set a volleyball, after everything that’s happened. The thought causes a pang in his chest, and he remembers specifically why he hasn’t thought about it. Why he refuses to think about it. Why he doesn’t want to touch a volleyball, let alone set one.

It hurts to look at this boy, but he can’t bring himself to look away either, and then the boy runs for the ball and Kageyama knows what he must look like, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, but any other expression is lost on him. The boy’s speed is something else, and so is his jump, Kageyama notices, watching more intently this time. He misses the ball, and Kageyama really isn’t surprised, he’s not that good, but he can’t help but think he could be.

But Kageyama could’ve been good, too. If the ball hadn’t dropped. If he would’ve learned to work with his teammates instead of against them. If he hadn’t given up. Not that he’d officially given up on volleyball, per say, but he hadn’t gone anywhere near a ball for an entire month. That’s as long as he’s gone since the first time he’d ever picked up a volleyball, and he thinks if he doesn’t get over this fear soon, he’ll leave volleyball in the past. He doesn’t want that, not really, but he doesn’t want to spend his life setting to emptiness, either.

The thing was, Kageyama had been alone his entire life, he was used to the solitude, but when his teammates had let the ball fall to the ground, something inside of him snapped. Something inside of him broke. His team had never been his friends, but he’d always believed they would be there, until the moment they weren’t.

Somewhere along the way, they’d decided they didn’t need Kageyama, and it hurt like a brick to the chest. His entire childhood he’d dealt with feeling unneeded, but he’d always thought that was different on the court. It was the only place he felt essential, but as it turned out, he’d been wrong about that. He wasn’t essential. Not to his classmates, not to volleyball, not to anything.

So maybe Kageyama hasn’t officially given up on volleyball, but he doesn’t really see the purpose in playing if he’s not needed. He doesn’t really see the purpose in putting himself through all of that again when he could just sulk in his room, and accept that loneliness is just apart of his being. Some people were just meant to be alone. He’d read that somewhere. It sucked, but he felt pretty certain he was meant to be one of those people.  

And then Hinata fucking Shouyou crashes into his life, and everything he thinks he knows falls apart around him.

 

﹏

 

The next day, Kageyama finds himself wandering back to the park, back to the place where he spotted the stranger with the orange hair. He’s got his eyes glued to the pavement as he walks, ignoring those around him, which isn’t difficult when they’re all ignoring him back. When Kageyama finally looks up, he does so expecting to see nothing. The chances of the boy returning to the park, same place and same time, were rare.

Kageyama hears a laugh before he sees the boy, and his eyes shoot up quicker than he’d intended, somehow knowing who the laugh belongs to. And there he is, bright as day, holding a volleyball in one hand and using the other to gesture widely. Kageyama finds a nearby bench, watching the game from the distance. It’s the closest he’s been to anything volleyball related since middle school ended, and it’s both frightening and exciting. There’s a part of him that wishes he was the one setting to the orange haired kid. There’s a part of him wondering if maybe, this stranger would be able to hit his tosses the way his teammates couldn’t.

He pushes the thought away as quickly as it came, and he tries not to think too much as he watches the game, but he finds himself constantly critiquing their actions. He knows it’s stupid. They’re just kids, playing some game to pass the time, but volleyball will never be just a game to Kageyama, and he can’t help but think it’s not just a game to this stranger, either.

He’s only aware of how long it’s been when they’re packing up their stuff, smiling and laughing as they say their goodbyes. Somehow, orange haired kid is still so full of energy, running around as if he hadn’t just spent the last four hours exerting himself. It makes Kageyama smile, but the second he realizes he’s doing as much, he replaces it with a scowl. The stupid kid doesn’t even have any skill, other than his speed and his goddamn jump, and Kageyama thinks playing with him would probably be a nightmare, but there’s also a part of him that wants nothing more than to storm over to the idiot and give him a toss. But then he remembers why he can’t do that and instead he storms off in the direction of his house, disappointed in himself but used to the feeling.

 

﹏

 

Kageyama doesn’t leave his house for a week, staying up all night reading, wasting his time on the Internet, and sometimes doodling, but all his doodles turn into volleyballs, and one even becomes that orange haired idiot, jumping into the air. Kageyama decides he’s had enough drawing after that. His days are spent sleeping, as he’s decided he prefers to be awake when everyone else is asleep. It's less pressure.

Finally, one afternoon, Kageyama’s mom barges into his room, waking him from a comfortable sleep. He rubs his eyes, staring up at her face, which is a mix of frustration and worry. He hates that he makes her worry like this, wishes he could convince her that he wasn't worth worrying about, but she’s his mother, and it doesn’t matter how many times he tells her not to, she’ll always worry.

“I’ve been trying to go easy on you because I know you’re going through a hard time right now, but this is getting out of hand. No more sleeping through the day. No more staying inside the house. You have to go outside, Tobio. You can’t just waste your summer hiding in your room.”

Kageyama blinks, the words stinging. He wants to fight back, to say there’s nothing out there for him, but he's not sure that’ll do any good. So instead, he throws off the covers, grabs his phone, and huffs dramatically in her direction as he passes. He looks back to her, “Fine,” and then he’s hurrying for the front door, slamming it shut as he leaves.

He knows it’s immature, and he immediately wants to run back inside the house and apologize, but he's already walking away, and he thinks if he does he might end up crying, and he doesn't want to put that on her. So he keeps going, and he doesn’t realize he’s been walking in the direction of the park until he forces his eyes from the ground, faced with trees and play structures and kids running around.

Kageyama sighs inwardly, letting his eyes float to the faraway view of a volleyball game, and despite common sense telling him to head the opposite direction, he keeps walking forward. His plan is just to pass by, to catch a quick glimpse, but his plan is ruined the moment he’s frozen in place, staring intently at a volleyball flying straight for his face. He tells himself to move, but his feet refuse to listen, and then he feels the impact of the ball and his hand is shooting up to grab his aching face.

“What the hell,” he yelps, orange haired kid running to meet him, apology written all over his face.

“I’m so so so sorry,” orange haired kid gets closer than he needs to, and Kageyama’s heart is suddenly beating faster because he’d never wanted to meet this stranger, this stranger who he’d just so happened to doodle into his notebook. If his cheeks heat up, he blames it on the ball to the face. Then, before he has time to react, orange haired kid’s hand is on his face, examining his injuries.

Kageyama smacks the hand away, glaring, “Don’t touch me,” he demands, and orange haired kid listens, hand falling to his side, but he doesn't move to give him more space, and he doesn't look scared.

“Sorry, sorry,” he repeats, and Kageyama finds himself growing annoyed.

“Do you know any other word that isn’t ‘sorry’?”

Orange haired kid looks slightly embarrassed, and then he holds out his hand, grins, and says, “I’m Hinata.”

Kageyama looks at the outstretched hand, skeptical eyes returning to the orange haired-to Hinata’s, face, not taking his hand, but deciding it can’t hurt to at least share his name, “Um. Kageyama.”

Apparently it can hurt, because Hinata is looking at him, smile bright and eyes brighter, energy radiating from him, “You should join our game, Kageyama! Have you ever played volleyball? It’s really fun! I can teach you.”

_I can teach you._

That’s when Kageyama interrupts him, voice cold, “I’ve played volleyball.”

“Oh! Then you should definitely join our—” Hinata pauses, getting a good look at Kageyama. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”

Kageyama wants to laugh at that. He likes volleyball. He likes volleyball more than he's ever liked anything, and that’s part of the reason he hasn’t played in a month. He shrugs instead, “I’m just not interested in playing with you guys.”

Hinata’s face transforms into that of defense, “What? Are you saying we’re not good enough for you? We can take you!” Hinata looks so sure of himself, and Kageyama can’t decide if he should hit him or admire him.

Kageyama scoffs, “You can take me? I’ve seen you play. You’re not that great.” He hadn’t meant to admit that he’d seen Hinata in action before, but now that the words were out, he couldn’t take them back.

“And you think you’re so much better? Prove it!” Hinata is all up in his face, clearly unaware of boundaries.

And because Hinata has him all riled up, Kageyama can’t stop himself when he yells back, “Fine!”

Before he can take it back, Hinata’s grabbing onto his wrist, volleyball in the other hand, pulling him to their makeshift court. Once they’ve stopped, Kageyama snaps his wrist from Hinata’s grip, sending him a glare. Hinata seems unmoved.

“This is Kageyama,” and then, as if he has some sort of death wish, Hinata adds, “He’s kind of grumpy but we did hit him with a ball, so.”

Everyone else looks like they’re ready to run, but Hinata appears oblivious to their fear. He looks at Kageyama, grinning stupidly, “What position do you play?”

“Setter, but—”

“But, what? Afraid your tosses won’t be good enough for us?” Hinata’s words are a challenge, and Kageyama’s always needed to prove himself, which is how he ends up leaning forward, snatching the volleyball from Hinata’s grasp. He tries to ignore the thumping in his heart at the touch of the ball. It’s only been a month. (In his mind, a voice whispers, _it should have only been a day_.)

“More like worried that you’ll embarrass yourself trying to hit one of my tosses.”

Kageyama’s hands are shaking as Hinata tells the other players what’s going on. They split up three on three, Kageyama on Hinata’s team, because apparently Hinata needs to prove that he can indeed hit one of Kageyama’s tosses. That is, if Kageyama doesn’t pass out or run away before he gets the chance to set the ball.

The game starts before he’s ready, and he’s pretty sure he’s in some sort of haze, and then the ball is coming his way and then it’s touching his fingers and he’s doing what he’s done so many times before, and he thinks there’s no way Hinata could get that, not when his teammates never could, and he’s ready to hear the sound of the ball drop to the ground, ready for the memory of his teammates leaving him behind to flood his memory, but then something truly amazing happens. Hinata hits the ball across the net.

The rest of the game is a blur, really. All he can think is, _Hinata was able to hit my toss. Hinata was able to hit my toss. Hinata was able to hit my toss._ They don’t connect every time, in fact, throughout the game, they rarely do, but Kageyama doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because Hinata hit his toss when no one on Kitagawa Daiichi could.

Kageyama’s team wins, and Hinata jumps up and down like this win in the single best thing to ever happen to him. He slaps his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, grinning up at him, “That was awesome!” And yeah, Hinata’s right, that was pretty awesome. After a month without volleyball, that was pretty fucking awesome.

“Yeah,” Kageyama breaths in agreement, unable to get much else out.

Hinata’s eyes are shining, “You should come back tomorrow! And the day after that! And the day after that! We come here every day at the same time, except on the weekend. I have to train for high school and my friends are super cool and don’t mind playing with me. But you should join us! You don’t have to come all the time if you don’t want to—oh, hey! Give me your phone and I’ll give you my number. You can let me know when you’re going to come,” Hinata hesitates, “I mean, if you do decide to come.”

Kageyama stares at the boy, overwhelmed by how many words can leave his mouth at once. “Um,” he walks over to where he left his phone, picking it up and tentatively handing it to Hinata, “Okay.” What is he getting himself into?

Hinata hurriedly types into the phone, handing it back moments later, “There!”

“Uh, thanks,” Kageyama says, because he’s not sure what else he’s supposed to say, “I should probably get going.”

“Right, yeah!” Hinata nods, “I hope I see you again.”

Kageyama hopes so, too.

 

﹏

 

Later that night, when he’s decided that he has nothing better to do tomorrow (or the rest of the summer, for that matter) than play volleyball at the park with a bunch of amateurs, he finds that Hinata had added five smiley faces to his name, because one wasn’t enough, apparently. He rolls his eyes, typing out a quick text.

_What time should I be there tomorrow?_

_YOU’RE COMING??? BE THERE AT 1 ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ_

For the first time in a week, Kageyama falls asleep before twelve in the morning, and for the first time all summer, he has plans. Plans that don’t involve sitting in bed all day. Plans that involve other living, breathing people. Plans that involve volleyball.

 

﹏

 

Hinata fits himself easily into Kageyama’s life, in more ways than just volleyball. After a week of playing together, Hinata and Kageyama somehow end up walking around the park together, Hinata chattering on about his goals and dreams, asking Kageyama too many questions. Kageyama would have been lying if he said he minded. There were a lot of things about Hinata that Kageyama _did_ mind, but his company wasn’t one of them.

He keeps telling himself not to get used to the company, not to get used to Hinata, reminding himself that when summer ends, so will this. Whatever _this_ is. But being with Hinata feels so natural, and despite his efforts, he’s become accustomed to the other boy being around.

Hinata is the first person to show an actual interest in Kageyama that extends beyond volleyball, and Kageyama doesn’t know what to do with that. He doesn’t know how to react to another person caring about him, asking him questions, genuinely wanting to know how he’s doing.

He knows that the longer he lets this go on, the more it’ll hurt when it’s over, but Kageyama is weak, and he’s wanted a friend for so long, and he’s not ready to give this one up yet.

“Kageyama, can I stay the night tonight?” Hinata asks, breaking the silence between them. Kageyama’s gotten used to Hinata breaking the silence.

“What?” He asks, despite having heard Hinata’s question clearly. His first thought is to say no, but the thing is, he really doesn’t want to. He wants to say yes, even though it makes him nervous, even though the idea of having someone over at his house kind of scares him, since he’s never had a friend come over for more than a few hours. But even that was years ago.

“Can I stay the night?” Hinata’s louder this time, putting more emphasis on his words, and Kageyama rolls his eyes, bumping him with his shoulder.

“I guess, whatever,” he shrugs like it’s no big deal, but his pulse quickens.

Hinata jumps up excitedly, smile too big for his face, “Awesome! I can’t wait to see your room!”

“You’re so weird,” Kageyama tells him, and when all that does is make Hinata’s smile wider, he knows he’s totally screwed, but he thinks that maybe he doesn’t care.

 

﹏

 

The first thing Hinata does when they get into Kageyama’s room is throw himself on the bed, completely outstretched. He grins up at Kageyama, and Kageyama kind of wishes he could either pull that grin right off his face or keep it there for the rest of eternity, but he’s not sure which, so he just sighs instead, batting at Hinata’s leg as he moves to sit on the bed.

“How can someone so small take up so much space?” Kageyama asks, leaving his hand on Hinata’s leg without really meaning to.

Hinata half shrugs in response, and as silence falls over them, Kageyama begins to worry. Is he supposed to suggest something for them to do? Should he ask Hinata if he wants something to eat? What if Hinata gets bored and decides he never wants to come over again? What if Hinata realizes Kageyama is a shitty friend and stops talking to him?

“Kageyama?” Hinata asks warily, now sitting up.  

“Yeah?” Hinata’s tone does nothing to sooth his nerves, and now his mind is racking at all the possible things Hinata could want.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re constipated or something.”

Kageyama scowls, “Shut up, dumbass, I’m fine,” and somehow, he does feel better, at least a little.

“Okay, well, good! We should watch a movie! But first you should make me something to eat!”

Kageyama feels himself relaxing even more, grateful that Hinata isn’t afraid to be vocal about what he wants to do. He pulls at Hinata’s leg as he lifts himself up from the bed, “Come on then, idiot. You can look through our movies while I make you something.”

Thirty minutes later, they’re sprawled out on the couch watching Ponyo. Hinata’s legs are resting on Kageyama’s lap. He’d attempted to swat them off, but Hinata, being the nuisance that he was, kept putting them back. After a few failed attempts, Kageyama accepted defeat, opting to let his hands rest on the boy’s legs. It wasn’t all that bad.

They watch the movie in silence, but Kageyama finds he keeps glancing at Hinata, enjoying the small smiles that appear on his lips. Every now and then, he’ll point something out, mention a part that his sister really likes. Every time, Kageyama tells him to shut up and watch the movie, but he secretly likes the little comments. He secretly likes Hinata a lot more than he lets on.

Attention half on the movie and half on Hinata, Kageyama can’t help but think he got lucky. For once in his goddamn life, he actually got lucky. Despite his annoying nature and nosy questions and inability to shut up, as far as friends go, Hinata is a good one. If not for hinata, Kageyama probably wouldn’t have touched a volleyball all summer. He probably would have gone into high school ready to give up on the one thing that meant everything to him. Now, he isn’t sure what he wants, but he’s at least thinking about it. He’s at least trying to figure it out.

So yeah, Kageyama thinks he’s pretty lucky. How long that luck will last, however, he doesn’t know.

A foot to his butt causes Kageyama to jump up, letting out a squeaked, “What the hell was that for?!” Noticing Hinata’s pleased look, he grimaces.

“The movie’s over. You were totally spacing out,” Hinata gently puts pressure against his leg, nudging, “What’re you thinking about?” he asks, mood shifting to be more serious.

“Uh, nothing.”

Hinata grabs a pillow, throwing it at Kageyama’s head, who lets out a surprised, “Hey!” before tossing it back.

“You’re such a bad liar,” Hinata tells him, repositioning the pillow behind him.

“Shut up.”

“You know…” Hinata hesitates, like he’s trying to choose his words carefully, “You can tell me about stuff. You don’t have to keep it all locked up in that big scary brain of yours. I can’t imagine what you’ve got floating around up there.” He lets out a joking laugh before going on, “I just, we’re friends, so… if you need someone to talk to, about things, you have me.”

Kageyama feels his heart beating faster in his chest, part nerves, part something else he can’t entirely place. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to respond to something like that, so he settles for a pathetic, “Um, yeah. Okay. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Hinata’s looking at him so seriously, and Kageyama didn’t even know Hinata was capable of that level of serious, or any level for that matter, and it’s a little uncomfortable.

“Stop staring at me.”

Hinata stares for a second longer, and then he breaks into a grin, and Kageyama feels relief flood his body, the mood lightening. There’s a part of him that wants to take Hinata up on his offer, to sit here on this stupid couch all night and tell him about middle school, and volleyball, and how before Hinata it’d been a month since he’d played, and how before Hinata he’d never had a real friend. He wants to tell him a lot of things, but Kageyama’s never opened up to anyone before, and he’s not sure he should start now. He knows Hinata’s offer was sincere, but if Kageyama actually started talking, Hinata would probably wish he’d never offered to listen. (In the back of his mind, a voice tells him Hinata would always like listening to him, but the voices of his anxiety is much, much louder.)

“Kageyamaaaaaa,” Hinata’s feet wiggle on his lap, and he looks, unamused, from them to Hinata’s face.

“What?”

“Can I have something to eat?”

“You just ate before the movie!”

“But I’m hungry again.”

Kageyama lets out a dramatic sigh, matched with a glare that makes it seem like this is the biggest inconvenience Kageyama has ever been faced with, “Fine.”

They move to the kitchen, Kageyama grabbing strawberries from the fridge and setting them on the table where Hinata is sitting, humming to himself. Kageyama takes the seat across from Hinata, picking up one of the strawberries for himself. They sit there for a while, eating and talking. Mostly Hinata talks and Kageyama listens, nodding his head every now and then, or answering meaningless questions that Hinata throws at him.

During that time, Kageyama’s mom comes home, and when she sees the boys sitting at the table, her face instantly lights up.

“Tobio, you didn’t tell me you were planning on having a friend over.”

Kageyama’s hand stills, strawberry inches from his lips. Shit. When Hinata had asked to come over, he’d completely forgot to mention it to his mom.

Seeming to sense his worry, she speaks up again, “It’s fine, don’t worry. Just let me know next time.” He nods, uttering out a thanks before she turns her attention to Hinata. “It’s good to meet you, I hope I get to see you over here again sometime. It’s always nice to meet Tobio’s friends.” Kageyama bites the inside of his mouth, stopping himself from making some stupid comment like, _you’ve never met any of my friends before, mom_.

When she finally leaves for her room, Hinata is all smiles, “Your mom is really nice!”

He nods, “Yeah,” and she is. She’s really nice, and really great, and really understanding, and really patient, even when Kageyama deserves none of these things.

A strawberry hits his face, and Kageyama looks up, glowering, “Stop throwing things at me, dumbass!”

Hinata throws his hands up defensively, “You looked lost in thought! I didn’t want you to like, drown in your mind or something.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Hinata shrugs, yawning, and that’s when he realizes it’s almost 10:00 o’clock, which happens to be the time some people go to sleep.

“Are you tired?” He asks.

“A little, but I don’t want to go to sleep.”

“What do you want to do then?”

“Let’s watch another movie!”

Kageyama nods, strolling back to the living room, Hinata flopping himself onto the couch while Kageyama picks out a movie. Once the movie is in, he turns around to see Hinata taking up the entire couch.

“Move over, dumbass.”

Hinata shakes his head enthusiastically, “Nope! You’re just gonna have to lay on me.”

Taking this as a challenge, Kageyama sprawls himself onto the couch, covering Hinata. After various movements, both boys shifting for comfort, Kageyama ends between Hinata’s legs, head pressed lightly against the bottom of his stomach.

He feels a rush of warmth, combined with nerves. He’s half convinced that he should force Hinata to move so they can fairly share the couch, but if he’s being honest, he’s not unhappy with the current situation they’re in. It’s the exact opposite that’s the problem. He likes this, and he thinks that maybe he shouldn’t.

But Hinata looks comfortable, and the movie is starting, so Kageyama just focuses on keeping his breathing at a normal pace.

When the credits finally roll almost two hours later, both the boys are asleep, Kageyama still with his head on Hinata’s stomach.

 

﹏

 

Things change between them after that night, after the following morning, when they woke up still cuddled together. It’s subtle changes, more touching, fondness in the way he says “dumbass”, noticing how good Hinata looks when he’s hitting one of his tosses, a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest whenever Hinata smiles at him. But Kageyama notices these changes as if they were shouting at him, screaming to be payed attention to. He pays attention to them. Lately, they’re all he seems to be capable of paying attention to.

He’s not an idiot, he knows exactly what that warm fuzzy feeling means, and he also knows it could ruin their friendship, and Kageyama can’t risk that. He can’t risk losing the one friend that he has. The one person who actually seems to give a shit about him. So, he shoves those feelings far away and attempts to ignore them. For the most part, it works. That is, until Hinata fucking Shouyou goes and ruins it all, because Hinata has a habit of taking everything Kageyama thinks he knew and turning it around.

It’s a few weeks after their sleepover, and they’re roaming the park, hands brushing every now and then. Hinata’s chattering on about his family, that is, until suddenly he’s not. Kageyama turns to Hinata, who’s stopped walking, who’s got this look on his face that Kageyama can’t quite place. He thinks he sees determination in there somewhere.

“Hinata,” he draws out the word, cautiously, “You alright?”

And then, without warning, Hinata shoots forward, lips crashing with Kageyama’s.

As far as first kisses go, it’s not great. It’s pretty bad, actually. The impact hadn’t been gentle, and there was some saliva, and he was still trying to process what the hell was going on. But despite all of this, his heart is erupting in his chest, and a bright red blush is taking over his face.

They pull apart, and Hinata is looking at Kageyama intently, searching, and Kageyama is pretty sure he’s forgotten how to breath.

“Um,” he stutters, and then, because he’s scared and confused and not sure how to talk properly, “I have to go, um. I have to go.”

He just barely catches the crushed look on Hinata’s face before he turns to run off in the direction of his house, heart still stammering away in his chest. He feels bad, really bad, because Hinata just kissed him and he ran away. Hinata, the person he _liked_ , kissed him, and he _ran away_.

He’s been so worried about Hinata leaving him, but just now, he was the one to leave. That realization hits him with a jolt, and before he can stop himself, before he has time to question his actions, he’s turning around, back for Hinata.

Kageyama is not about to lose his friend because he’s scared. He sees Hinata in the distance, and he shouts out, “Hinata!” but it’s too quiet and Hinata is too far away.

He shouts again, louder this time, “Hinata!” The boy turns around, stopping in place, confusion written all over his face.

When Kageyama finally reaches him, he breaths out, “Hinata,” who, along with looking confused, looks really hurt.

Kageyama tries to catch Hinata’s eye but he’s looking down, fidgeting with his hands, “I’m sorry,” he begins, and Kageyama thinks this is all wrong. Hinata shouldn’t be the one apologizing right now. “I’m sorry, I thought—I just, we’ve been, and I thought—”

Kageyama shakes his head, wanting this apology to stop, “Hinata, shut up.” This gets Hinata’s attention, causing him to look up, “Just shut up and listen to me, alright?”

Hinata nods, locking eyes with Kageyama.

Kageyama lets out a deep breath, “When you kissed me, I got scared. You’re the first friend I’ve ever had, which is pathetic because I’m almost in high school, but no one has ever really liked me. And then you came along, and you were able to hit my tosses and you asked me how I was doing and you were always smiling at me, and for the first time in my life I had a friend. You’re my friend, and I’m terrified of that ending. I don’t want to lose you, so I just freaked out and ran away.”

“You’re not gonna lose me,” is Hinata’s immediate response, and it’s so sure, Kageyama wishes he was capable of that kind of certainty.

“What about when school starts? You won’t have time for me anymore. You’ll be busy with school work and volleyball.”

Hinata looks at him like he’s an idiot, and he thinks he probably is, “Then I’ll make time for you, you asshole!” And then, with a smile he adds, “Besides, it’s not that easy to escape me, Kageyama.”

A lot of emotions rush through Kageyama at once, but mostly, he just feels happy. Hinata is still his friend, and maybe he’ll be something more, and he’s not going to lose him.

 

﹏

 

They’re sitting on Kageyama’s bed, three weeks before school starts, and Kageyama is absently running his hands through Hinata’s hair. They haven’t officially declared themselves a couple, but when they’re walking through the park together, their hands will often find each other, and when they’re alone at one of their houses, they’ll find a way to be touching. They also had a second kiss, which was better than the first, but still not that great. Fortunately, if things kept going how they were, they’d have a lot more time to figure out the whole kissing thing. The thought makes Kageyama smile.

His smile, however, quickly disappears when he hears a word. _Karasuno_.

“What did you just say?” He asks, heart stopping in his chest.

Hinata looks offended that he wasn’t paying attention, but he repeats his words back anyway, “I was saying that I want to be Karasuno’s ace,” and Kageyama can tell he’s about to elaborate, but he cuts him off before he has the chance.

“Why would you be Karauno’s ace?”

Now, not only does Hinata look offended, he also looks hurt, “Kageyama, I’ve spent hours talking about how badly I want to be ace! Are you just now trying to tell me that you don’t think I can do it? Because you’re wrong! I’ll be the best ace there is!”

Kageyama shakes his head rapidly, “Hinata,” he says, and Hinata senses the seriousness in his voice. He goes quiet, waiting for whatever it is that Kageyama has to say.

“I’m going to Karasuno.”

It feels like time stops around them. Neither of them moves, too shocked to say or do anything.

Finally, after what feels like forever, Hinata clarifies, “You’re going to Karauno?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

Hinata’s eyes become wide with excitement, and then he’s jumping up, staring down at a still sitting Kageyama.

“I can’t believe this! I can’t believe we didn’t know this sooner! Kageyama, we’re going to the same school! We can play volleyball together! For three years!”

“Well—” Kageyama interrupts, ready to say that might not be true, that he still hasn’t decided if he wants to play or not, but when he thinks about it, he’s only ever had one option. Volleyball has never really been a choice. It’s always been a part of him, and if he gets to spend the next four years with Hinata at his side, well, that’s definitely a plus. So instead, he smiles, feeling so light and so happy, “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

Hinata jumps onto his knees then, taking Kageyama’s face in his hands and pressing their lips together, buzzing with energy. It’s a good kiss, Kageyama thinks. Maybe because he’s riding high on his emotions, or maybe because it’s Hinata, and even the bad kisses are good when it’s with him.

When the kiss ends, Hinata leans forward slightly, foreheads pressing together.

“We’re really stupid, aren’t we?”

Kageyama nods, “Yeah,” and then he pulls Hinata in for another kiss, his heart floating out of his chest.

Suddenly, he has a lot to look forward to. 

**Author's Note:**

> KAGS IS JUST LIKE!! SO HAPPY HE CAN'T SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN YEAH AT THAT END POINT MAN HE'S TRYING TO PROCESS EVERYTHING  
> pls talk to me on tumblr @ hajimestooru  
> send me things u want me to write!! or anything!! send me anything!!  
> thanks for reading ily <3


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